A Loving Tribute to Sandy

I met Sandy around 18 years ago. Our paths crossed when we joined their Couples for Christ household (or cell group). We would meet at least twice a month and over time, I was drawn to her because of her quiet charm and intelligence.

She would never indulge in idle talk and was straightforward and substantive. We were then active in service and would see each other in community events and socials. I always enjoyed speaking to her in these instances. Eventually, we were no longer in the same household and would only meet on rare occasions.

Our friendship would take a deeper turn approximately 10 years ago. I received a call from Sandy as her husband, Mar, suddenly collapsed at home after an angioplasty procedure. What followed was a ten-year journey witnessing Sandy’s faith, courage and determination. He passed away in November 2019.

Mar collapsed in March 2010. He was in a coma from that day, spent two years in the hospital and thereafter was cared for at home by Sandy for almost eight years. Doctors would often marvel at how well Mar looked physically and in all those years, he did not even have any bed sores. This was a testament of how carefully Sandy and team cared for him - turning him every few hours, changing him, feeding him and phlegm suctioning him. Sandy, an accomplished and professional writer and communications specialist, had suddenly become a medical expert and caregiver.

As a friend looking in, I was simply in awe of her strength and faith in the Lord. I never even saw Sandy break down, cry or bring out her pain and frustration at her predicament or situation. She would perhaps do this in the silence of her room or in her conversations with the Lord. But what we all saw was a woman of dignity who did her very best to take care of her husband and raise her children.

Soul sisters Margie and Sandy.

Her boys are another testament of the kind of parents Mar and Sandy were. Cody, Nile, Trigg and Ethan are articulate, confident and respectful men who also lost their ability to interact with their Dad at very young ages. However, they always remembered what Mar taught them and you can see how they love Sandy. They make sure she was always treated as a lady and not allowed to carry heavy things. Because of Mar’s work ethic and professional excellence, the boys were inspired to also work hard in their studies, sports and any other endeavor.

Over the years, I would visit Sandy and try my best to bring any amount of comfort possible to her. We talked about anything under the sun and her humor and cheerfulness were infectious. Within this period, Sandy even managed to launch The F (Finely Filipino) magazine, a beautiful magazine initially meant to showcase Filipinos in Singapore but is now online and every Filipino’s magazine. She also finished her Masters of Science in Communication Management from Singapore Management University. She did not let difficulty or hardship bring her down as she forged on and moved forward.

She never lost hope that Mar would get better even as months moved into years. She is compassionate and generous to others even while going through her own crisis. She is a daughter, sister and aunt to her family. She is a provider, disciplinarian and protector to her boys. She is a friend who listens and is willing to lend a hand in whatever capacity she can.

The strength and character of people are tested in adversity. Sandy is a person who had gone through fire and emerged as a diamond - pure, bright, shining and strong. The F Magazine is about every Filipino - global Filipinos who are inspirational in various fields, endeavors and who exhibit the best of our culture. This is my tribute to Sandy Hernandez, the Filipino and woman behind The F Magazine.